Ever Virgin Mary

I’m often asked by Protestants if the phrase “ever virgin Mary” means that the Church teaches that Mary the Theotokos never had sex. If I am tired or grumpy, I just answer “yes” and prepare myself to respond to the predictable objections with off-the-shelf answers. And in most cases, this is all the inquirer wants. However, sometimes, I answer by saying “no.” Then I say that it means the Mary’s heart and mind were always pure, that she was always full of the Light, Life and Grace of God. Oh yes, and by the way, that also had a biological component: she never had sexual intercourse, but that is not what “ever virgin” means.