tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post1519143606323734707..comments2023-12-22T19:01:28.512-08:00Comments on Holy Nativity Orthodox Church: Dating non-Orthodox ChristiansFr. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16981965403145920704noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post-84678487761711981212012-07-14T09:06:47.323-07:002012-07-14T09:06:47.323-07:00Glory to Jesus Christ!
I stumbled upon this blog ...Glory to Jesus Christ!<br /><br />I stumbled upon this blog and found it quite interesting. This issue is not discussed much in our Orthodox church in Canada but it is on the minds of many of our single people. It is a situation that I have prayed a lot about, especially most recently. <br /><br />I have been an Orthodox Christian my whole life. I love the Lord and serve the church he has revealed Himself to me in. I'm 30 now, not married, gainfully employed with a career and a home and settled in a place where I believe God has called me to serve. I am aware that to continue my transformation into the likeness of Christ I must become part of a community where I am practicing sacrificial love and denying myself. The path I see is in marriage and children.<br /><br />I think most will agree it is very difficult to find other compatible people seeking marriage in the church today. It has been my experience that some that you do find have some beliefs and practices that do not harmonize with those of the church, and are not interested in parting with them. For this reason I have been hesitant to pursue a permanent commitment to some of the sisters in Christ I have known. Other times I have met single Orthodox women from outside my area who are committed Christians, yet are understandably opposed to moving to a new place. <br /><br />So I started visiting non-Orthodox Christian churches in my area for bible studies and services that do not conflict with the Divine Liturgy. A couple months ago I met a lovely young woman from a Presbyterian background. She is a very kind, compassionate and humble Christian person. She works with disabled people, keeps a prayer rule and has made a commitment to saving herself for marriage. We often discuss matters of faith, doctrine and study the bible. We also actively pray for each other and intercede for each other’s friends and family in need. She also does not object to icons and infant baptism. I have honestly told her that it is inevitable that my children will grow up Orthodox. She has not definitively accepted or rejected this idea. She is a quiet thinker and I believe she is praying and pondering for the time being.<br /><br />I was inspired by an earlier post that described marriage similar to a journey moving from one spiritual state to another. It has been my experience to often stand in wonder about not only when and why the Lord takes away from us, but also the reasons he gives!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post-34428609304450239692011-09-15T09:56:38.474-07:002011-09-15T09:56:38.474-07:00John,
My general advice is that an Orthodox Christ...John,<br />My general advice is that an Orthodox Christian should marry an Orthodox Christian because religion matters--especially after the honeymoon. However, you are right. There are cases in which the spiritual journey of one or the other is such that marriage should precede shared Orthodox faith. This is a matter of discernment, not just of the couple (because the love endorphins usually make anything seem possible to them), but discernment with parents, priests and other (usually) older and wiser people.Fr. Michaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16981965403145920704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post-41168806537432744142009-07-21T11:42:52.606-07:002009-07-21T11:42:52.606-07:00I just re-read that now, and I realize I came off ...I just re-read that now, and I realize I came off a bit full of myself; my comment about 'when someone is firm in their faith' by no means referred to my own past (far from it.) :-)John M. Blackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12544896813540474445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post-86009442918634876322009-07-21T11:26:29.263-07:002009-07-21T11:26:29.263-07:00Father, bless,
I'm a bit uncomfortable with s...Father, bless,<br /><br />I'm a bit uncomfortable with some of the conclusions you draw here; though very often I'll admit I'm wrong and it could be that my discomfort is my own shortcoming. But sixteen years ago I met someone that would become my wife; this was not someone who was Orthodox, but we had an honest, deep friendship and even a spiritual connection, she being from a traditional Protestant background. I don't know how this happened (I wasn't consciously trying) but within a short time she fell in love not only with me but also with the Orthodox faith. The short story is, we've been married and have raised a wonderful Orthodox family for almost 13 years now. I cannot imagine anyone I know today to be so faithful, so spiritually inspiring, so dedicated to the Orthodox faith as this wonderful woman is now. <br /><br />But if I had followed your advice then, would any of this have happened? I don't believe so, and I also don't believe this can be written off as an exception to a rule. When a young person who is firm in their faith shares their virtues with another and lives a Christ-like example of the Orthodox faith, he/she is bound to rub off on that person.<br /><br />I think often the best marriage is one of movement; one where the couple is able to move from one spiritual state to another over time. It's difficult for me to imagine two people who are already completely alike, including in their faith, to have anywhere to go.<br /><br />-John<br /><br />p.s. Michelle - I'd challenge that notion in principle, and argue that it's more a cultural than a religious matter. We men are not (always) the dominant things that society makes us out to be. :-)<br /><br />A good Christian marriage is one where the strengths of one compliments the weaknesses of the other, and vice versa; and these strengths & weaknesses are not always the same things from one couple to another. Every person is unique, which means every relationship between two people is unique, and it's best to keep an open mind about how a future relationship with someone will be. I'm a very different person now than I thought I would be before I met my wife, and I'm much better for it... we have changed each other with time; we are each other's helpmates; neither of us is much more dominant over the other across the board; we each have differnt things in our life that we take the lead on.John M. Blackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12544896813540474445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post-32218254580401976362009-07-04T21:16:37.868-07:002009-07-04T21:16:37.868-07:00Dear Michelle,
In my experience, usually it is a g...Dear Michelle,<br />In my experience, usually it is a good idea to make inquires of a sensitive nature through a trusted third party. This is a good way to get a sense for how serious the other person is before initiating any kind of more direct quire on the matter.Fr. Michaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16981965403145920704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27139233.post-52547196608837097002009-07-01T10:16:26.212-07:002009-07-01T10:16:26.212-07:00Father, bless!
You write, "If you suspect th...Father, bless!<br /><br />You write, "If you suspect that a particular friend may indeed be someone with whom you could spend your life, then enquire if he/she suspects the same thing."<br /><br />This makes me go "Hunh?" because it sounds like you're saying that either the woman or the man could initiate this process. If anything about relationships has been drilled into me over the years, it's that men don't like to be asked, they like to do the asking. Are you suggesting that in some situations it would be all right for the woman to broach the topic?<br /><br />(I am *not* poised by my phone ready to call a man as soon as I get your clarification. :D )Mooshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16737446370723825187noreply@blogger.com